At Last — I’m a Believer


Because atheists tend to rate (unjustly, I might add) a few points above axe murderers on popularity scales, I decided recently to adopt a belief system. Ignoring the indisputable fact that one cannot simply choose to believe some absurd theology, I decided to choose to believe an absurd theology.

My, there were a lot of them. Too many to digest and most of them boring.

So I decided to invent my own.

It’s called the Church of Tuesday and it is founded on the belief that

1. The entire universe was formed out of nothing at midnight last Tuesday

2. The entire universe will dissolve in a great conflagration at midnight next Tuesday.

3. Believers in the Church of Tuesday will be caught up in the air and transported to heaven.

4. Non-believers will cease to exist.

A couple of comments seem in order.

First, by midnight Tuesday I mean the hour when Tuesday becomes Wednesday. Greenwich Mean Time.

Second, as the only member of the Church of Tuesday, I have only a short time to proselytize.  So — anyone who wants to join, leave a comment. Don’t leave it too long. It’s already Sunday morning GMT.

I really have to work out a theology. I’m going for a beer now.

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About aharmlessdrudge

Way back during the late Bronze age -- actually it was the 1950s -- all of us in high school had to take a vocational test to determine our interests and, supposedly, our future careers. I cannot remember the outcome, but I do recall one question that gave me pause. "If you were to win a Nobel prize, would it be in literature or in physics?" I hesitated over the question: although I enjoyed mathematics and science more than English class, I did have a couple of unfinished (and very bad) novels hidden away at home. I cannot remember what I chose back then, but the dilemma followed me to university, where I switched from mathematics to English and -- after a five-year stint in journalism -- back to mathematics. I recently retired as a professor of statistics. Retirement. What a good chance to revive my literary ambitions. I have finished a novel -- more about that in good time -- and a rubble of drafts of articles about mathematics and statistics is taking up space on my hard disk.
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